Poročni obrednik - The Wedding Book

Tole je knjiga, ki skozi cerkveno poroko spremlja vsak par na poti v sveti zakon. 

V njej je zapisan potek obreda v nekaj različicah, najdejo se primeri besedil za poroko in poročno mašo ter tisto najbolj pomembno: opisan je pomen samega zakramenta.

Ko knjigo skupaj listava malo po malo že dober teden, se mi zdi, da so tu zapisane številne skrivnosti zakona, ki pa niso prav lahko razumljive. V nadaljevanju bom skušala povzeti tista dejstva, zapisana v knjigi, ki so me najbolj nagovorila.

Cerkvena poroka je nepreklicna privolitev, s katero se zakonca svobodno izročita in sprejmeta (le tako lahko skleneta veljavni sveti zakon). Smisel zakona je, da mož in žena drug drugemu pomagata na poti k svetosti. Lahko bi rekli, da si prizadevata po svojih najboljših močeh biti vsak dan boljša, bolj sveta. Otroci, ki naj pridejo v zakon s človeško in krščansko odgovornostjo zanje, so najlepši dar zakona. Otroci so dar in ne naša last, pri tem pa je pomembno, da se zakonca za darove zahvaljujeta, Bogu zaupata ter sta pripravljena tudi na odpovedovanje. Le tako lahko otroci in drugi blagoslovi, ki sta jih deležna "kot eno meso" največ prispevajo za dobro zakoncev. Tisti, ki se poročijo v Kristusu, zmorejo najlepše slaviti skrivnost zveze Kristusa in Cerkve, ko ostanejo zvesti Božji besedi, se trudijo prav živeti in to pred vsemi javno oznanjevati. 

Poročni obred

Naj na tem mestu povem, da sva se z Aljažem v smislu oznanjevanja v preteklem tednu trudila v resničnost spraviti idejo, da bi lahko najini poročni maši prisluhnili tudi v živo preko valov Radia Ognjišče (kako bi bili veseli moji sorodniki iz Amerike, ki se poroke žal ne bodo mogli udeležiti! Zagotovo bi bil prenos poročne maše lepa in pozitivna novica, morda prijeten spomin na katero drugo poroko za marsikaterega slovenskega kristjana ...). Žal sva dobila le potrditev, da je ideja nekaj nenavadnega, da česa takega še ni bilo, da pa žal ne bo šlo skozi. Škoda.

V obredniku lahko tudi preberemo, naj bo poroka skrbno pripravljena. Pomemben je izbor svetopisemskih besedil, pesmi pa naj bodo primerne poročnemu obredu in naj izražajo vero Cerkve. Praznični značaj obhajanja poroke naj se izrazi tudi s primerno okrasitvijo cerkve. Še najbolj pomembno pa je, da se bodoča zakonca na poroko dobro pripravita. Midva se bova potrudila po svojih najboljših močeh.

The nuts and bolts...

... or what is a marriage? 

Planning a wedding ceremony and sorting out all the niggly details that go into a wedding day can leave a future husband and wife lacking the awareness of what it is they are actually getting themselves into. To help us answer that question, we've enlisted the help of "The Man Upstairs". In other words, we're treating our future bond as a sacred and permanent commitment to one another. In the eyes of the Catholic Church, marriage is a sacrament sealed by the Holy Spirit, but what sets it apart from the six other sacraments is the fact that marriage is not "cast upon" the husband and wife by a priest. He is merely a witness of the Church, while the sacrament itself is bestowed by the very people committing to it. In light of this, I've spend some time researching a subject called theology of the body (religious or not, I highly recommend it, or if you'd prefer a shorter version, I recommend this book).

Explaining the meaning of a christian (catholic) marriage in detail is the book above. Although some parts (especially the ones about the true meaning of marriage are sometimes difficult to comprehend), it gives a profound insight of what a marriage is supposed to be. First and foremost, it is described as a commitment and an irrevocable consent (you know, the "for better or worse" part), focusing on the two entering into marriage giving each other to their husband/wife and accepting each other as a gift. The crowning achievement and the biggest responsibility of a marriage are children, who are to be taken care of in the best manner possible.

Thinking about these passages has not been easy. In today's fast-paced world, how can you truly commit to something (and someone) for the rest of your life? I don't think it will be easy, not by a long shot, but in the end, anything worth having is worth fighting for.

Aljaž - getting ready for the long haul

Naprsni šopki - Aren't we crafty?

Danes sem ustvarjala ... iz tega materiala:

je začelo nastajat tole:

V prvi rundi sva jih skupaj z Aljaževo mami naredili 20. Zelo sem ponosna na tele naprsne šopke. Dizajn sem si sama izmislila, največ težav pa mi je povzročal zeleni vozel, ker ni hotel nastati vedno enak. Nadaljujem ob priliki, zdaj že znam tako da, ... nekaj cvetličarske žilice pa je tudi v meni, mar ne?

Upam, da se bodo hitro množili.

Finding hidden gems

Finally, I have the time to catch up on my duties regarding the blog. This rainy August has perhaps given me the opportunity to reflect on some things that would have otherwise given my attention the slip. (No, I'm not going to talk about what Kristina and my mother are making, you can find that out in the photos above.)

When Kristina and I were on our way from Ljubljana to Carinthia, we decided to avoid taking the highway and opted for the local road instead. It really gave us the chance to pay attention to our surroundings. And during these times, one can experience a heap of interesting things that would be impossible to catch while cruising the busy motorway. And then it hit me: taking advantage of these opportunities could double as a vacation, but instead of taking a week of, you can experience new things almost on a daily basis. But why am I telling you this?

If you take the old road from Ljubljana, you soon come across the small town (village) of Lukovica, with the settlement Brdo pri Lukovici close by. As I discovered, this was a place I had wanted to visit for some time, since it is the "home" of this magnificent castle. I was sad to see the castle had burned down during World War II and was never restored. Now, only the outside walls are still standing. Standing next to the castle is a sign describing the history of the castle and the town. Hiding in this description is the fact that this sleepy little village is the birthplace of none other than France Marolt, one of the "founding fathers" and the first conductor of the choir APZ Tone Tomšič (you know, where Kristina I met :) ). Not content with merely knowing this fact I decided to seek out his house of birth, and after some clueless wandering around I ended up finding it. And, as if Fate had demanded it, I was wearing my APZ Tone Tomšič T-shirt that day. :)

Sorry, my hair is getting in the way. But the bottom line of the sign reads: AKADEMSKEGA PEVSKEGA ZBORA

Aljaž - can't make a long story short

Povabljene na dekliščino - The hen party

Kot sem že zapisala, bo dekliščina 22. avgusta, torej prihodnji petek. Povabljenih je 20 deklet (poleg mene še 19, kar mislim, da je precej visoka zgornja meja), naredila pa sem kar "fb event" in poleg tega skušala nekatere povabljenke dobiti tudi na telefon.

Koga povabiti je vedno tehtno in mogoče malo zoprno (še kar tehnično) vprašanje, ampak treba se je odločiti. Neke "klape" prijateljic, s katerimi bi se zelo redno dobivala, nimam, vendar to ne bo razlog, da dekliščine ne bi bilo. Najbolj blizu temu je klapa sošolk iz srednje šole, vendar sem jaz v tem krogu bolj neredna obiskovalka naših petkovih srečanj :) Tokrat bom na petek spet zraven, oziroma bodo za spremembo one zraven! Seveda smo si med seboj zelo različne in te prijateljice so mi zadnje čase predvsem spodbuda, da po poroki dejansko naredim svojo magistrsko nalogo. Skoraj vse so že končale študij, ampak na dekliščino pa še nobena ni povabila, ha! Zelo si želim dekliščine tudi zato, ker sicer nikoli nisem zares hodila ven in včasih človek to enostavno pogreša.

Zadnji dan srednje šole

Drugi krog prijateljic izhaja iz vrst APZ-ja, vendar je tu zelo težko določiti, s kom sem si dovolj blizu, predvsem pa je imen enostavno preveč (v šestih letih se vezi tkejo in tudi razpletajo), zato sem imela pri izboru imen iz vrst APZ-ja še kar težave. Odločila sem se za tistih nekaj, s katerimi sem doživela res posebne trenutke (tudi lani poleti, ko sem se malo več družila) in z njimi ostala v rednem kontaktu (pa niso ravnokar rodile ali kaj podobnega, sicer bi bilo verjetno še kako drugače).

Tretji krog prijateljic izhaja iz vrst sošolk na fakulteti. Na krajinski arhitekturi smo si vsi skupaj bili precej blizu, saj nas ni veliko, je pa res, da smo se po končanih izpitih precej raztepli na vse konce in kraje. Škoda. Upam, da kmalu organiziramo še kako "sošolsko srečanje", nekaj sošolk pa enostavno moram videti še enkrat pred poroko, na primer tudi prijateljico iz otroštva, ki je zadnje čase v tujini, pa pride na dekliščino! Juhu!

Ostane še zelo posebna oseba iz konca moje osnovne šole oziroma mojih popoldanskih ur srednje šole. V glasbeni šoli, pihalnem orkestru (in še kdaj kar tako) sva se veliko srečevali. Ampak ker se že dolgo nisva nič videli, mislim da te punce ne bo. Če pride, bom prijetno presenečena. Poleg nje sem povabila še eno kolegico, s katero imava isto pevsko učiteljico. Je zelo prijetna punca, žal mi je, da ne preživiva več časa skupaj. Seveda bi najraje povabila še marsikatero dekle, zato naj na tem mestu povem, da bom vesela tudi presenečenj, torej vseh, ki pridete "samo pofirbcat". Dekliščina se bo začela v Bizoviku in skozi noč nadaljevala v centru Ljubljane.

Klara in jaz pri mojem prvem svetem obhajilu 

S sestro Klaro, ki bo vse skupaj organizirala, si v mladosti nisva bili preveč blizu. Ker vem, da bo naredila zares hud žur, sem na dekliščino povabila še dve njeni prijateljici, ki ju jaz poznam iz različnih srečanj znotraj župnije Štepanja vas. Klara je od mene mlajša tri leta pa je že dobro leto redno zaposlena in zelo uspešna v tem, kar dela, zato mi je postala v zadnjih letih zelo lep vzor. Danes mi je žal, da njenih "prestopkov" v otroštvu nisem zares razumela. Veliko sva si nagajali in bolj ko sem jo odrivala iz svojega življenja, bolj je ona želela imeti moje stvari, denar in podobno. Morda je takrat veljalo, da sem jaz uspešnejša od nje, ampak sedaj že dolgo ne meriva več moči, temveč si pomagava, kolikor si lahko. Lepo je videti prednosti, ki jih imaš, če imaš tako kot jaz kar dve sestri in dva brata (pa čeprav so vsi mlajši). To je vendar čudovito! Ponosna sem na njo in izredno hvaležna za vse, kar naredi zame. Enostavno si ne bi mogla želeti boljše poročne priče!

Klara in jaz na poroki sorodnice Millie v Ameriki

To bachelor party or not to bachelor party?

The question has been plaguing me since I made up my mind about getting hitched. Then, the arrival of the movie The Hangover (and its godawful sequels) even furthered the idea that a guy should have one last blow-out with his mates before tying the knot. I call bulls**t!

Well, not to be so harsh, the concept of a last hurrah might be appealing to some. But those of you who know me can testify that I've never been much of a party enthusiast (at least not in the "hangoverian" sense). My idea of a good time is a far cry away from taking roofies, drinking till my insides feel like making an appearance, sneaking into people's houses, and abducting small children. And no, the idea of being tied to a cross and other similar bachelor-party-esque nonsense is also out of the question for me. If you want to see a great initiation ritual, go to Premantura in the second weekend of August, preferably as a new member of APZ Tone Tomšič. :)

The way I see bachelor parties is a bunch of close friend saying "goodbye" to one of their own as he gets ready to settle down and seemingly forget about those closest to him. The issue for me was that, although I have friends, they're not a closely knit group in their own right, since they come from different parts of the country and I know them from different stages in my life (similar to what Kristina wrote earlier).

That being said, I'm nonetheless thrilled that Kristina is having her soiree and I hope she has fun with it. :)

Aljaž - bachelor till married  

Vsaj malo sonca - Ain't no Sunshine

Od zadnje objave je minilo že kar nekaj časa, ampak priprave na poroko so vedno bolj ... poročne? Zelo naju razveseli, ko lahko s kom v živo pokomentiramo stvari, ki so tu zapisane, nekateri so tudi rahlo nestrpni in želijo izvedeti več, zato je skrajni čas, da blog malo ažurirava.

Midva letos na "morju" (DER See!)

Včeraj zvečer sva fizično oddala eno zadnjih vabil na poroko, saj se do sedaj še nismo utegnili srečati. Gre za mlad par, ki sta se v pričakovanju drugega otroka zelo spontano (v ožjem krogu) poročila 2. avgusta letos. Mogoče jima to spontanost celo malo zavidam, verjetno pa bo bolje, če povem, da ju občudujem.

Njuna skoraj triletna prvorojenka je prava navihanka, na sprehodu po Koseškem bajerju me je namreč krstila v "hecno babo" :) Čeprav je bil najin dan kar precej napet in poleg nekaj posla poln tudi poročne vsebine, je bil ta sprehod zelo prikladna priložnost za "konzumiranje" nekaj sončnih žarkov, ki smo jih v tem poletju bolj malo deležni. Bolj ko se bliža poročni dan, bolj me skrbi vreme, ampak kakršno bo - pač bo. Povabljena družinica pa svojo udeležbo postavlja v 50 % verjetnost (ali pridejo, ali pa ne pridejo), saj imajo za 30. avgust že neke posebne obveznosti na svojem urniku (datum poroda drugega otroka prav na ta dan!). Tako je, ko so enkrat tu otroci, ob tem pa si želim, da bi lahko nekoč tudi midva uresničila svoje sanje o družini.

Včeraj sva oba kupila svoje poročno perilo v trgovini Lisca, Aljaž je v Poročnem kotičku kupil še kravato, jaz pa sem bila na pomerjanju poročne obleke s pravimi čevlji in perilom, da jo bodo lahko še popolnoma prilagodili mojim meram. Z mami in sestro smo se odpravile še k mamini prijateljici, ki mi bo naredila uhane po naročilu (Naraji nakit) in nato je sledilo še nekaj minutk za klepet. Sestra, ki je moja poročna priča, me je zaslišala glede dekliščine in sedaj čaka seznam deklet, s katerimi bom 22. avgusta kolovratila po Ljubljani. O programu nimam pojma, menda to sploh ni moja stvar ... kdo ve, kaj me čaka? Predvsem imam pred očmi to, da do dekliščine še naredim naprsne šopke in pripravim darilca za svate, kar nekaj stvari namreč še kar čaka (in res upam, da ne na zadnji teden).

Medtem ko Aljaž izbira in preizkuša različne vozle za kravato, grem jaz pred spanjem še sestavit vabilo za dekliščino. 


Love her madly

Where will we be, when the summer's gone? Well, that's not a tough one to answer, is it? :) But as Kristina has already pointed out, we didn't have much of a "summer" this year. Rain and the trying to get everything ready for the wedding saw to that. Still, we did manage to get in at least one day at the beach (see photo above). But don't be fooled, we were a long way away from any serious ocean. We took last Friday off and visited a place called "Stausee Soboth". It was great, the sun was shining (for a change) and the crowds were nowhere to be found (possibly due to the weather and the fact that the water has/had not-so-pleasant 18°C). Still, t'was a day well spent! :)

After a short trip to Ljubljana, we came back to Carinthia and now its time to sort out 
the last few details of our wedding (but the really interesting bits have to stay secret, so I'll say nothing more on the subject). One of the things I can reveal is that I'm in the process of selecting the perfect knot for my tie (OK, this news will probably not set the world aflame, but it was big news for me, when I discovered that you can be creative in making a tie knot). The reason for this is that I had to give up on my "dream" of having a cravat and waistcoat, deciding on a plain tie instead. So now I'm discovering ways to make my ordinary tie stand out from the crowd (and bride :P ). 

In other news, Kristina is planning her bachelorette party, so for those of you planning on going out in Ljubljana on Friday, 22 August, beware. :)

Aljaž - waiting for the sun

Vadiva plesne korake - Taking the Right (and Left) Steps

Kot sva že omenila, si nekaj posebnega želiva tudi za prvi ples, ki ga bova zaplesala kot mladoporočenca. Pri Valentini Pšag sva imela do zdaj dve vaji, malo je popravljala najino držo in nama pokazala nekaj lušnih plesnih figur, sicer pa ne želiva preveč komplicirati (niti nimava več veliko časa), temveč predvsem uživati.

Glasbo za prvi ples in slog plesa sva že izbrala, vendar bo do izvedbe pred svati vse skupaj ostalo kot skrivnost, medtem pa vadiva in skupaj kreirava. Aljaž je zelo dober plesalec in ker se jaz sedaj že znam sprostit (to je pač posebne vrste dosežek), nama je vse skupaj v veselje.

Tako kot petje, je tudi ples del izražanja človeka, ki obstaja že od prazgodovine. S petjem in plesom so ljudje že nekoč delili svoje občutke, tako vesele kot žalostne. Ples je dejavnost, ki jo počneva skupaj, imava se lepo in to je najpomembnejše. Moj pokojni oče bi dejal, da gre tudi za "vertikalno izražanje horizontalnih želja" :) tistih pristnih predvsem. Mislim, da ples krepi najino ljubezen, zato bi jo verjetno lahko dali še komu "na recept"! Naj povem le to, da nama je všeč klasika, zato bo ples nekaj v tem slogu, s tem da sva dopolnila besedilo izbrane pesmi. 

Zdaj pa prepuščam vaši domišljiji in ugibanju glede vsega preostalega, kar ni tu zapisano :)

Zaplešite tudi vi, četudi v dežju!

The first dance

Today is Friday, 8 August 2014, which means that the wedding is now only 3 weeks away and I'm not quite sure, why I'm not petrified yet (every Hollywood-made romantic puss-filled boil of a movie says I should be shaking by now). I suppose Kristina and I are probably doing something wrong. But what if we're doing something right? :)

One thing we hope to get right is our first dance as husband and wife. To make sure everything will go as smooth as possible, we've enlisted our good friend and neighbour, professional dance teacher (of all things :) ) Valentina Pšag to help us get the right moves. So far so good, we've dreamed up a (not to simple) choreography, and all that's left for us to do now is practice, practice, practice. 

But getting back to the question from the first paragraph, what if we're doing something right? As mentioned in one of the previous posts on this blog, the decision for us to get married was the only realistic option if we were to have any sort of an intimate relationship. And now that the big day is fast approaching, I'm beginning to realise that our decision to get married will make us outcasts. Why? I think that the reason the number of weddings is on the decrease (stated by several men of faith and government employees) is the fact that marriage presents a "terminal" decision. It's forever. Although one can get a civil divorce, the catholic Church does not accept divorce as an option for a valid marriage. But that's not merely down to a whim the Church might have, but the very nature of a marriage makes it not illegal but impossible to break up (see this book for further reference). But to make this paragraph sensible, I've started to notice that people are afraid to commit. And it's not just marriage and personal relationships. The very nature of the western world is geared towards the expendable, meaning "if it doesn't work properly, just get a new one". Frankly, that sort of an attitude is very disconcerting for me, or, in plain English, the fact that people lack the balls to commit to anything (a career, marriage, a hobby, etc.) pis**s me off (I know, because I'm still growing the cojones to commit to certain activities, and I went through the process of not being prepared to commit in a relationship).

Commitment takes work. Just ask anyone who's been married for several decades, or who's been pursuing a hobby all their life. It's often not easy and it takes dedication and a lot of patience, two major qualities people seem to lack nowadays. Hopefully, many of you reading this blog (hello, future me :) ) will find these words a source of inspiration towards dedication. :)

Aljaž - may I have this dance?

Intervju na radiu Ognjišče - Interview for Radio Ognjišče

Zadnje dni se poleg organizacijskih zadev okrog poroke zelo zavestno pogovarjava tudi o tistih stvar, ki so pomembne za zakon. Mislim, da je primerno, da na tem mestu delim intervju, ki sva ga bila po srečanju s papežem Frančiškom (letos na valentinovo) deležna na Radiu Ognjišče. 

Prijetno poslušanje!

How we became celebrities (well, not yet:) )

On 14 February, Kristina and I attended a not so private audience with His Holiness, Pope Francis. On this occasion, we and another 25 or so couples from Slovenia about to get married went to the Vatican, where Pope Francis spoke to over 20,000 fiances, and the couples received a gift from the Pope himself. You'll find out soon enough what it is. :)

Upon our return, Kristina and I, together with another couple who had been to the Vatican, were invited to give an interview for the Ognjišče radio. You can listen to the whole thing in the link posted above.

Aljaž - not wanting to listen to myself speak

August - zdaj gre pa čisto zares!

The Final Four...

So it begins - the final countdown to the big day. Contrary to the name "A BridalBlog" I decided that today was my turn to go first and write something. And going through this website, I realised that 1 August was a day when truly great things have happened. (the arrival of the first slaves to the USA, the discovery of oxygen, the birth of Herman Melville, the birth of Yves Saint-Laurent, the last diary entry of Anne Frank, etc.). 

And today is a big day for us, because it is giving us the chance to learn a vital lesson about patience and perseverance. What happened was our car broke down and is now being repaired by Kristina's uncle. Hopefully, the surgery will go well and we'll be back to cruising around the country in our little Peugeot. :) Nostalgia aside, that car was our main means of transport and being left without it throws a serious spanner in our getting-around-and-doing-things works. But rather than giving in and whining about it, we try to make the best of a bad situation and look on the bright side of life.

Our bright side of life :)

But why consider this important in our preparations for marriage?

Life's a piece of shit

When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

source

OK, maybe the lyrics are a bit harsh and life isn't a piece of shit (at least not for all of us all the time). But the point is: life has its ups and a bunch of downs. And Kristina and I have decided to celebrate the ups and get back up after the downs together, with today, 1 August, giving us the perfect opportunity to put that theory into practice. Especially since we're going to have a busy weekend (come listen to us sing this Sunday at the church of St. Nicholas in Bizovik) and a car would have come in very handy.

Aljaž  - wishing for a hitchhiker's guide


Dan, ko se vse obrne na pozitivno stran

Tako, avto je popravljen, hvala stric Matic :)
Ko misliš, da gre čisto vse narobe, pomaga, da človek malo zadiha in pogleda na težave iz različnih perspektiv.

Z Aljažem sva ravno prišla s Koroške in že zaplanirala dneve do nedelje, ko naj bi se vračala tja. Zelo na hitro sem se zmenila za prvi plesni termin s sosedo (petek ob 14.00), za katerega je v kolobociji z ostalimi obveznostmi in odvisnostjo od avtomobila kazalo, da bo propadel. Žal bi zelo težko v najin urnik spravila kak drug termin, ki bi bil sprejemljivo zgoden pred samo poroko, a kot kaže, se vse vedno uredi v najboljše dobro!

Plesna učiteljica Valentina Pšag je oseba, ki mi je v zadnjih treh letih najbolj blizu, pa se kar nekajkrat zgodi, da pravzaprav ne moreva v miru poklepetati, čeprav sva sosedi. Zelo sem vesela, ker sem si dovolila zadihat in ne preveč skrbeti za avto in ostalo (kazalo je zelo slabo, vendar se je k sreči dalo hitro popraviti). Ko sem tako vsa v skrbeh klepetala z Valentino, me je še posebej v dobro voljo spravil klic duhovnika, ki naju bo poročil. Jože Kastelic, za katerega sva v času spoznavanja ugotovila, da je SKUPEN dobrotnik obeh najinih družin, je bil prav takrat na Koroškem (verjetno na ogledu in kakem sestanku glede same poroke, ker sva si ga "izposodila" od drugod). Rekel je, da moli za naju in mislim, da je to tisto, kar je zares pomagalo. 

Tako sva včeraj popoldan preživela najbolj čudovite ure učenja plesa! Po večernem skoku v Ljubljano na pevsko vajo sva dobila nazaj popravljen avtomobil in presenetljivo prijeten dan zaključila v družbi sosedov, ki so naredili hišni piknik. HVALA za take ljudi in HVALA za ČUDOVIT dan!

Kristina (tokrat na drugem mestu objave :))